Scene One

The Plot, in which we learn of Poirot’s mission

Scene Two

The Pudding, in which Poirot finds the mysterious missing ruby

Scene Three

The Play, in which Poirot finds Bridget, murdered in the snow

Scene Four

The Payoff, in which Poirot solves the case!

Bridget:

Here he comes, Michael! Oh David, I hear he is the most famous detective in the world!

David:

He’s a funny looking chap all bundled up in his great coat.

Michael:

He’s a Frog isn’t he?

Bridget:

No silly, he’s from Belgium!

Michael:

Same thing!

David:

We should put on a show for him while he’s here with us for Christmas.

Bridget:

You mean like stage a murder?

Michael:

What fun - I want to be the corpse!

Bridget:

Oh no - I should be the corpse, in my red flannel nightgown in the snow, much more dramatic I should think!

David:

Let’s go inside and plan for it!

Bells.

Em:

Welcome Monsieur Poirot! It is so good of you to join us here for the holidays!

Colonel Horace:

(Gruffly) Yes, yes. A real old-fashioned Ohio Christmas, puddings and all.

Poirot:

I am so pleased that you invited me to your country home, and the snow is lovely, but it is nice and warm inside.

Em:

Come inside by the fire, would you like some hot chocolate.

Poirot:

Mon Dieu! My favorite! What a hostess.

Em:

I was hoping you might be able to help us out with a small well..er..difficulty.

Poirot:

How may I be of service madam?

Em:

It’s our granddaughter, Sarah - she’s gotten herself mixed up with a rather unsuitable young fellow. We all thought she was going to marry David Richardson - they grew up together don’t you know - and then she went and moved to Columbus and met this Desmond Lee Wortly, a city-fellow. He is certainly after her only for her inheritance.

Poirot:

I think I might be able to help you madam. (Aside) What madam doesn’t know is that I am here on secret state business. I am here to recover a very valuable missing ruby! A young foreign prince was swindled by a Miss Lee Wortley a fortnight ago and I know she is staying here.

Em:

Ah, here’s your chocolate. Thank you Annie.

Annie:

Yes’m.

Poirot:

Tell me more about this young Desmond.

Em:

Well I invited him down for the holidays, thinking that Sarah might see him in a different way down here with us. He asked if he could bring his sister, Miss Sally Lee Wortley who is recovering from an operation. He has been bringing her meals up to her. That is nice. But otherwise he’s very modern and unsuitable. I think I hear them now. Poor David’s been absolutely bereft, everyone was sure he and Sarah-

Desmond’s voice:

I think all this silly Christmas fuss is nonsense, let’s go down to the local bar for a drink Sarah.

Sarah:

I rather like a nice Christmas at home-but if you really want to Desmond...

Desmond:

Immediately, I’ll go get the car.

Sarah (entering):

Hello Em dear! And this must be our distinguished guest, Monsieur Poirot!

Poirot:

Enchantez mademoiselle!

Sarah:

Em, Desmond and I are going down to the bar.

Em:

Whatever you like dear, oh here comes David. Why don’t you ask him to join you?

David:

Merry Christmas everyone! What a wonderful snow is falling! Sarah, isn’t it lovely - just like when we were kids together? Look the kids are making a snowman! Let’s go help them.

Sarah:

Oh, I’d love to David - but I just promised Desmond I’d go downtown. Would you like to come with us?

David:

Uh..no..I think I’ll go join the kids! Thanks for having me Em!

Em:

You folks run along, Monsieur Poirot and I are going to stay here by the fire.

Poirot:

Absolutement! I adore watching the snow fall - but not falling in it!

Bells.

Poirot:

What is this under my door on this Christmas Eve? A note:

Don’t eat none of the pudding – one who wishes you well.

I wonder what that could mean?

Bells.

Col. Horace:

Happy Christmas everyone! I’d like to propose this toast to my lovely wife and our granddaughter Sarah!

Em:

Thank you dear, and don’t forget our distinguished visitor, Monsieur Poirot!

Sarah:

Thank you Grandpa. I’d like to include our other guest, Desmond.

Desmond:

Sarah, darlin’.

Michael:

Okay - enough toasting - isn’t Cook’s pudding ready yet??

Cook:

Here it is, everyone! A real Ohio Christmas Pudding!

Bridget:

Look at the flames! How lovely! Monsieur Poirot I wonder what you’ll get! I always get the thimble.

Colin:

That’s because you’re definitely going to be an old maid!

Bridget:

Oh you! I hope you get the pig, you pig!

Em:

Okay children, enough! Now let’s enjoy the pudding.

Horace:

Ouch -I’ve got some fool piece of glass! Could’ve broke my tooth!

Poirot:

Allow me? Hmm..

Bridget:

That looks like a giant ruby - what if it was real?

Michael:

Don’t be a dope. It’d be worth millions, it’s just a fake - probably from one of our Christmas Crackers . Hey I’ve got the button! I’m going to be a bachelor - thank heavens!

Em:

Who got the silver dollar?

Desmond:

Why, that would be me.

Horace:

(Gruffly) No surprise there.

Bridget:

Hey Colin’s got the pig!!! Hahahaha!

Colin:

Is that a thimble in your pudding??? You old maid!

Em:

Children! Heavens. I wonder how that piece of glass got in the pudding?

David:

I’ve got the ring!

Sarah:

And I’ve got the other one!

Em:

That means you’re going to get married!

Poirot:

But not necessarily to each other, eh?

Desmond:

Of course not, Sarah’s going to marry me!

Em:

Well I say let’s go into the parlor for presents!

Children:

Hooray!

Poirot:

Madam Cook, may I have a word?

Cook:

Why of course sir.

Poirot:

That was a truly amazing Ohio Pudding!

Cook:

Thank you sir! It’s my own recipe! Although we actually ate the wrong one tonight.

Poirot:

The wrong pudding?

Cook:

Well Annie this morning dropped the Christmas pudding and so we served the New Year’s pudding instead.

Poirot:

Wrong or right pudding Madam it was most excellent. A happy holiday to you!

Cook:

And to you sir, and thank you!

Poirot:

Aha, the Lee Wortley’s must have hidden it in the New Year’s pudding thinking I would be gone by then!

Loud Knocking.

Michael:

Monsieur Poirot, wake up!

Colin:

You must help us! Something dreadful has happened!

Poirot:

Boys, what could it be this Christmas morning?

Michael:

You must come see it’s Bridget - we found her in the snow! She’s been stabbed!

Poirot:

What? Stabbed? Have you called anyone else?

Colin:

No we thought we should get you first.

Poirot:

Mon Dieu! Let’s go at once.

Bells.

Colin:

There she is! Look at the blood.

Poirot:

You haven’t touched her?

Michael:

No sir.

Boys giggle.

Colin:

It’s just a joke! It’s our Christmas present to you!

Michael:

Bridget ,you can get up now.

Poirot:

I don’t think so boys. She has no pulse. She’s dead!

Colin:

Dead???

Michael:

Help, Help! Desmond!

Desmond:

I heard all the shouting - what’s happened?

Poirot:

It’s Mademoiselle Bridget - someone has-

Desmond:

Murdered her??

Poirot:

I can feel no pulse at all - will you check again Desmond?

Desmond:

Well I-

Poirot:

Boys, go up to the house at once. Desmond, can you feel a pulse?

Desmond:

No nothing. (Aside) But I did find something in her hand...thank heavens it’s the ruby. Now Sally and I can get away from here at once!

Bells.

Colin:

Em! Em! It’s Bridget..she..

Michael:

She’s been-

Bridget:

I’ve been what?

Michael and Colin:

Bridget!! We thought you were..

Em:

Boys, what is this all about??

Poirot:

My apologies Madam. It was my little idea. Mademoiselle Bridget was just helping me catch a criminal.

Em:

Catch a criminal?

Poirot:

Bridget can tell you all about it later - but now I need young David right away!

David:

Yes, Monsieur Poirot, here I am - what’s going on ?- I heard all the commotion and came down at once. I can’t find Sarah anywhere.

Em:

Sarah-missing? What is going on?

Poirot:

David, we must get the car at once. Madam, where is the nearest airport?

Em:

Why it’s about 45 minutes away in Cleveland, although there is a smaller one about 15 minutes from here.

Poirot:

That’s the one we must get to and right away!

David:

Let’s go!

Bells.

David:

I just can’t believe Sarah running off with that despicable fellow Desmond! I just can’t believe it.

Poirot:

Drive faster -we just might be able to catch them!

David:

Here we are - and there’s the plane! But there’s the police! What’s going on? They are arresting Sarah and Desmond!

Poirot:

Look a little closer my friend.

David:

Why that’s not Sarah - that’s his sister, Sally. Heavens, then where is Sarah?

Sarah:

David, here I am.

David:

Sarah! I thought you -

Poirot:

Yes David, this morning I sent Sarah into town to get the police. Thank heaven they got here first. My little plan worked. You drove very fast thinking that it was Miss Sarah running away.

Sarah:

What an idiot I have been. Can you ever forgive me David?

David:

Of course! I am so happy it wasn’t you!

Poirot:

And now we must return to your Ohio Christmas, don’t you think?

Sarah:

Oh yes, and thank you Monsieur Poirot!

Bells.

Horace:

Well, Poirot, I must say that as a rule I don’t hold with foreigners – but I will say you certainly proved me wrong!

Em:

Thank you so much Poirot!

Poirot:

Oh it was nothing. Just the little grey cells at work!

Bridget:

And don’t forget me!

Poirot:

Mademoiselle Bridget! I couldn’t have done it without your help! Desmond didn’t even realize you weren’t dead when he saw that ruby I placed in your hand.

Em:

And just look at dear David and Sarah under the mistletoe.

Bridget:

Looks like the pudding fortune was right after all-they will be getting married!

Poirot:

I do have one question though. I received this little note on Christmas Eve, warning me "not to eat the pudding".

Annie:

Excuse me, sir.

Poirot:

Yes, Annie?

Annie:

That was me sir. You see I heard Mr. Desmond and his sister talking in her room. They said that they knew you were a detective-and that they had to "do something about it". And then she asked him what he had ‘done with it’. And he said "I put it in the pudding", so I thought they were trying to poison you somehow.

Poirot:

Aha, one last little mystery is now solved!

Bridget:

I think it’s time for a carol!

Poirot:

Absolutement!

All:

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Jack Frost nipping at your nose

Yuletide carols being sung by the fire

And folks dressed up like Eskimos

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe

Help to make the season bright

Tiny tots with their eyes all a glow

Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa is on his way

He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh

And ev’ry mother’s child is gonna spy

To see if reindeer really know how to fly

And so I’m offering this simple phrase

To kids from 1 to 92

Altho’ it’s been said many times, many ways

Merry Christmas to you!